Death and Life go On...

First, sorry for not keeping you all up on the events since Flora's passing. It has been like some very strange 12 day Acid Trip... So, I will try to recap it all, as I remember it - I would get a cup of coffee or your favorite beverage, and some Kleenex, for this one...

Where to start...

Well, as I left off last time, we got to her house about 5 minutes after the Police and neighbors had broken in and found her in the bedroom on the floor. Her sister, Roberta, and her husband Vic arrived a few minutes later. Shortly after that, the folks from the funeral home showed up and were quite helpful in consoling the family and providing information about the upcoming events.

The closet doors were broken and she had a bruise on her cheek from hitting the dresser. They didn't do an autopsy, but the general conscience is that she had a blood clot or aneurysm and was dead before hitting the floor. If any of your watch any of the CSI shows, you know they can tell such things by how the the condition of the body and condition of injuries.

Anyway, she couldn't be moved until the corner got there and then they moved her to the bed and did whatever they do along with collecting all her ID and meds. They made a special deal out of taking her drivers license for some reason. Anyway, when all that was done, the corner left and the funeral home folks took her away on a cart, leaving us there in stunned shock.

The next few days were a continual blurr of grieving, phone calls, gathering required information and making arrangements of the moment, while trying to come to grips with what had happened and the daunting tasks that laid ahead... There were many visits from friends and neighbors, the usual 'funeral' food dishes brought and general controlled chaos and grieving.

The two older brothers, Mike and Gary, the oldest brother and the executor of the estate, finally showed up a few days later - I cannot remember the day at this point... But, prior to that, most stuff couldn't really be done, or even started as they wanted to be involved in it all. Gary and Mike really hadn't been there for some time - I think since the passing of their dad some 7 years ago, so they really had no idea what was going on or what to expect when they showed up.

Pam and Roberta, having been with or talked to their mother almost daily, knew a lot of stuff and desires that where not in the will and working out all the 'details' of how it was all to happen and what was suppose to happen ended up in a number of long heated discussions over the next week or so.

Gary, the executor, is the only Mormon of the group, as Flora was, and had quite different ideas about how it was all suppose to happen. In fact, he had 'different' ideas about most everything and is quite 'head strong', and the rest of the siblings had many concerns about him and his 'techniques' in dealing with all the arrangements and estate dealings. I am trying to be nice here. I am just glad there were no weapons available and none of us have to ever see any of the neighbors again after all this is over...

Anyway, the funeral went off wonderfully. The place will filled to capacity with all of her friends and family that wanted to celebrate her life and passing. There were flowers sent from everywhere and it was truly a wonderful event. Roberta's pastor did the ceremony, at Flora's wishes, as he was there and helped her husband be saved, during his last days. He did a great job - even though he wasn't Mormon... Each of the children got up and spoke and each a wonderful and 'unique' job of giving their last comments to their mother.

Pam's daughter, Jasmine, did a special multimedia presentation using a lot of family pictures and selected music and her great technical talents to produce a truly amazing tribute to her grandmother. The audience was stunned by it, as such a beautiful presentation has probably not been seen before here in DaHo... Jasmine and her husband Brad came for the funeral, after spending so much time on the presentation, but could only spend the day

Pam's son Bobbie, his fiancee Jackie, and their son Josh, Pam's only grandchild from her side of the family, to date, were able to be here for almost a week and stayed here with us. It was great to have them here and Pam was so happy to have her grandson here to enjoy and relieve some of the stress of everything else going on.

Pam's dad has a flat plate 'head stone' that Gary wanted to replicate for Flora, whose grave is next to her husband, Bob. That concept was totally unacceptable to all the other children, who wanted a large dual width combined headstone. This resulted in the final 'battle', er 'discussion', between the siblings and the creation of a special bank account for its creation and installation.

All of the family pictures, of which there were many stashed in every possible nook and cranny in every room and closet, were all gathered up and brought over to our house and filled up the dining room. At night, after each long day of distributing 'treasures' found in the most amazing places, some of the children would come over to the house and go through all the pictures, trying to figure out who/what they were and separating them as appropriate. Mike and his wife worked on this with Pam for many nights with Gary helping one night. Mike, wife and their Winnie dog, stayed with us for 3 nights, causing our cat Cali great concern and irritation.

During the funeral, Roberta mentioned that her mother had 10 of everything she needed and 100 of everything she didn't, which ended up being much truer than not. I cannot believe how much stuff there was in that little house. There was also a outside storage shed, greatly expanded under-house crawl space, garage and an attic over the garage, and a off site storage shed, all of which was filled to the brim with every sort of junk, er 'precious mementos', that exists or has ever existed - Many of which still had the faded garage sale price tags on them...

And then there is the motor home and vehicles... We got the motor home started finally. It has sit where it is at along side of the house for years. It is actually not in too bad of shape, considering its probably early 70'ies and has sit for years. Its also full of stuff to deal with...

We got a large dumpster - I think it is 20' long - and almost filled it up with all the total junk. Then everybody took anything they thought they would like or need and all the remainder of the stuff, of which there is plenty, along with the motor home and other items will be auctioned off on March 11th, I think. That should be quite an event. The lawyer mentioned that the auctioneer usually has seen the items he auctions many times before from other estates he has dealt with in the past...

After the 'Great Garage Flood of '06', and all the shelving I had installed and had reorganized the entire garage, finally having it all in place an organized - it is now so full of boxes of 'Precious Mementos' that you cannot even walk through it. We also now have a number of new furniture additions that need to be assimilated. And, we still have to bring over the large stand up freezer that will be a great addition to DaGarage, but will require additional rearranging of stuff.

So, now I am trying to 'catch' up on things that have been piling up over the past 12 days - Bills to be paid, appointments to reschedule, stuff to fix, people to talk to and fish to catch... This event will take weeks, months or even longer to recover from - not counting the emotional loss of such a great mother, person and part of our lives.

Pam will have a lot more to add to all this or write her own version in the next few days, so check back for all the latest news here from DaHo...