May Newsletter Article...

A Line in the Sand…
By Lanny Keithley

We will now explore another tool used to help resolve questions and issues that come up in making decisions and in understanding why we feel the way we do about them.

There are a whole group of questions that can be summarized into “Why do I feel that way about this event/situation/issue?” These questions can range from casual musings to raging hostility and fear, depending upon the person’s state of mind and their usual way of dealing with life’s issues.

Your consciousness goes to work, using your computer to provide all the necessary answers to its questions, in dealing with the issue at hand. This is a basic part of the human being – typically called ‘instinct’.

Each one of these questions, asked of the computer, works like a Balance Scale. As your memory is scanned about this topic, all the good/positive stuff goes on one side of the scale, and all the bad/negative stuff goes on the other. And, when it’s all done, the scale is judged and the answer is returned to your consciousness. It then uses that new data in the process of figuring out this situation, and may ask more questions of the computer as needed, until it has figured it all out.

When these computer searches are processed and there are some seriously negative or concerning issues that come up, they produce ‘Red Flag’ results that are meant to generate immediate and/or heightened awareness of that situation. Whenever you have a strong ‘gut’ feeling that that something is not right here, or just doesn’t make sense – those are Red Flags. Trust your instincts and be very careful about dealing with this issue before resolving those Red Flag feelings.

Watch for ‘opportunities’ out there that are designed to make you ‘not’ address your red flag issues before committing to the deal. Usually, these are offering some opportunity that sounds too good to pass up, something that must be done right then, forcing you to act, now. If you have Red Flag feelings on any situation, I would highly recommend that you not commit to it, regardless of what it is, until you can resolve your doubts about those issues first. Your Human Computer is a very sophisticated, powerful, machine and it has found some serious problems that need to be resolved for your own good and protection. This has been said thousands of times before but “Trust your instincts”. They are there to protect you and will not let you down.

This whole analysis happens in a moment and we are not aware of any of the detail processes going on inside us. The end result is a feeling or “position” that is based on the sum total of everything we have ever experienced that will affect that situation. We probably won’t understand it, or why our conclusion is what it is but it is 100% accurate for us.

I refer to that position as “A Line in the Sand”. Everybody knows that concept. It is a defined position that one person makes on any given situation. Often, it is an actual physical line, visually defining your space. Each side knows exactly where it is and when they have crossed it. It is a very useful tool for all.

This is exactly what happens within each of us but we have no place to physically draw that line, and the other side doesn’t know where it is because they cannot see it. But, it is there, inside, and we can feel it - just like it was a foot wide and painted solid black.

If that was all there was too it, we would be done here, but why do people still ask all the “Why do I feel that way about this?” questions? We have just learned that we know the correct answer and know exactly where “our” line is - So, why all the questions and doubts?

The short answer is that we don’t like or trust ourselves and/or reality. So, we try to disregard our instincts, and wish for another result to be reality. As we have all learned, throughout life, our conscious thoughts and desires sometimes would like things to be different, better, shinier, or changed. We sometimes wish we were someone, or something, other than we currently are. All of these types of thoughts cast doubt into the decision making process, if you allow them. Remember to use your mirror to resolve any questions you might have about what is the correct path or answer to any question you are not sure of.

You know the right answer, but you don’t always want to listen to it, or you may want to put a little different spin on it – which is what created the need for therapy and endless confusion and worry.

For example, say your friend wants you to loan him some money to buy a car. Your instinct comes back with a “NO” answer with bright red flags all over it. But your conscious thoughts are saying stuff like, “He is such a nice guy.” and “He is my neighbor.” and “He probably would actually pay back the money this time, and not use it to buy drugs like last time.” Inside, you know that loaning him the money is going way over your internal “Line in the Sand”. If you don’t do it, he may be mad for a while, but that will pass. There is a good chance that your long term relationship with him will be the better for you doing the right thing for you. And, what if you did loan him the money and he ended up buying drugs and harming himself? Be aware of the Red Flags. They are there for a reason – to protect you from harming yourself.

If you keep on your side of your line and listen to your “instincts”, you will have made the right decision, have no negative thoughts or concerns, can sleep at night, and will build positive events in your life’s memory – offsetting some of the past negative stuff.

If you allow yourself to cross over your line, you are leaving yourself open to ongoing internal ridicule and turmoil – resulting in “I shouldn’t have done that!”, “Why did I do that?”, “What is wrong with me?”, types of issues that will continue to build the piles of negative/bad events and feelings in your memory and will be used for every future event in your life.

There are times that you do cross over your line, for reasons such as family or emotional commitments, but just be aware that you are doing so and take responsibility so you won’t beat yourself up for it later. And always watch out for those Red Flags - they are there to protect you and should be given due consideration in all cases.

If you try and visualize the “Line in the Sand” that your instincts drew, when pondering any given situation, it helps you to properly analyze what is going on and to make better decisions, keeping out all the “conscious thoughts and desires” that cause so much confusion.